Monday, September 3, 2012

Things I Will or Will Not Do (on the eve of returning to work)

I've been home from work for 8 months and tomorrow is my first day back.  One month of bed rest, 6 months of maternity leave (THANK YOU, JOB!) and one month of un-paid leave (again, THANK YOU, JOB!) has allowed me to spend a beautiful time with my family.   It's truly been a gift!

I haven't blogged but for one or two posts my entire maternity leave and while I have felt guilty almost every day because of it, I realize that instead of blogging about my life with my children, I have actually just been focusing on living in it.  I've also realized that being home with two kids and a husband allows very little time to sit in front a computer so I bet that I back-log quite a bit in the coming weeks.

Today I started thinking about all of the things I hope to do (or not do) when I go back to work... kind of like New Year's Resolutions.  I seriously doubt that I am listing anything that any working mom/parent doesn't already feel, but this is for my kids to read one day and I want them to know everything I'm feeling.

So here's what I hope to be, do and achieve (along with some of my most favorite pictures of my family):

I will be the best Mom and Wife that I can possibly be by being present when I'm home and working hard when I'm away to make it all worth it (the hardest thing to do).

I will thank my husband every day for taking care of our children and home (if I don't do that, someone slap me!).

I will not feel guilty for working and being away (yeah, right).

I will not feel guilty for wanting to work (possibly doable).

I will leave my office crap on the doorstep before I enter my home each night and not surround my family with it (hmmm... that's a tough one but definitely something to strive to achieve).

I will think about my children crawling around the floor making each other laugh every time I feel sad about being away (this happened tonight when Daniel was making Lucy crawl after him.  They were both cracking up and it happened to happen when we were video chatting with my parents.  Quite an awesome night).

I will wake up early to run or do pilates in the morning (oh please, let it be!).

I will read books to my children before they go to bed with energy and love and not be thinking about work while doing so.

I will trust my husband to take as good care of our family as I could (or better) and won't micromanage him (oy! the micromanaging part of that one is REALLY hard - but I'll do it!).

I will stop being so dramatic and just go back to work! (no way will I ever stop being dramatic.  Let's get real, people!)

I will remember that there really is no such thing as true "balance".  Something will always have to give but I will strive to rarely let that "something" be my family (I'm being realistic and honest here - every once in a while it's going to happen... and that's OK).

My children and my husband are everything I could ever ask for.  I am blessed.  I WILL always know that.