Last Will & Testament

Matt and I signed our wills today.   Quite the intense morning.

The actual signing wasn't intense or stressful.  In fact, it's always a pleasure to hang out with our lawyer.  He's hysterical and happens to be the president of our synagogue so I actually feel a little more Jewish after spending time with him.

The rest of the day was fairly intense, though.  We had to get these wills signed because we are going on a very long trip without Daniel.  Signing them was a last minute "G-d forbid" action that we've been meaning to do for 15 months now and those papers have now made the whole "what would happen" so real.

I'm feeling excited, yet incredibly nervous/guilty about going on this trip.  10 days in Argentina without our little man.  My friends all say that this is good for all of us.  While I've been on business trips (max = 4 days), Matt and I have only been apart from Daniel at the same time for 2 days.  I've been working so much and traveling so much that any free time I have I want to spend with him.  So, you can understand the guilt.  BUT, Matt and I need this trip and I know that Daniel will be in good hands (with my parents in Atlanta probably mixing Gin & Tonics by the time we return).  So, we find ourselves signing wills.

Anyone who has gone through this understands what a mind trip it is.  We're not going to die on this trip... but we could... but we won't... but we could.  But really we'll just be eating delicious steak and hiking on glaciers and Daniel will be spoiled rotten by my parents.

Happy 70th Birthday, Daddy (Papa!)

Today is my father's 70th birthday.  OMG!  70th!!!

I've always been a daddy's girl and today is just another amazing reason to tell the world why I love him so much (and why Daniel loves his Papa so much):

1.  My dad puts his girls (me, my sister and my mom) before anything in the world... especially himself.
2.  My dad has treated Matt like his own son since the day I introduced them (my dad likes to tell the story of Matt skating up to a bar on his skateboard).
3.  My dad gives the best infant massage.  This started with Julia Guiness when she was one day old and still holds true today.
4.  My dad tells ridiculously bad jokes.  Mind you, he thinks they are hysterical (and, sometimes they are pretty funny) but most of the time my sister and I tell him they are lame and he laughs anyway and says, "I know".
5.  My dad fixes everything.  Nowadays it might take him a little longer to complete (cue my mom to complain that he's not finishing everything on time) but the man has put more energy into making his home up to date than anyone else who doesn't remodel homes for a living. 
6.  My dad works harder than most people I know, even though the outcome isn't as lucrative as he probably hopes.  My dad is a contractor and, at 70, still does a lot of manual labor.  He deserves to win the lottery but still takes pride in helping people out every single day.  His can-do spirit is absolutely inspiring.
7.  I learned the following important life lessons from my dad:
- How to drive offensively, not defensively (and how to stop short)
- Talk to strangers and be super nice to everyone - whether they are paying your paycheck or bagging your groceries
- Love your family and tell them that you love them every day (I learned this from my mom & Dad, but being a Daddy's Girl, I'll give credit to Dad today)
- Love food and don't feel guilty about it (I could also blame him for the 20 extra pounds I have right now, but I won't.. or did I just do that?)
- Never say "shut up" to your mother.  Ever.
- Drink whiskey to get rid of a sore throat
8.  My dad is an INCREDIBLE grandfather.  His eyes light up when he sees Daniel and watching them together melts my heart.
9.  My dad is an INCREDIBLE husband and he still opens the car door for my mom and buys her flowers.
10.  My dad is the MOST INCREDIBLE father of all time and I love him with all of my heart and soul. 

Happy Birthday, Daddy!

Amazing Acts of Stillness

While my blogging may be way behind lately, Daniel is still 15 months old.  He is incredibly active and rarely stops for more than a minute or two which is why the events of this evening are blogworthy.

Tonight, we tried to video chat with my parents.  A comedy in itself and I never expect Daniel to last for more than 2 seconds.  Every time we try to video chat with my parents, they can't get their computer to work or whatever "high speed" network they're on doesn't really let them video chat as they are always sitting on their couch and just stuck on the screen.  They can see us perfectly fine so they continue to talk and blow kisses, but Daniel and I are just kind of sitting there looking at a blurry face stuck on the screen (I really can't do the humor justice).

Anyhow... tonight, Daniel sat on my lap in front of the computer for about 10 or 15 minutes while we tried to video chat (Tried is the key word here.  It never really happened and seeing my parents faces blurry and stuck on a screen is weird enough for me - I have to believe that it totally freaks out Daniel).  It was incredible.  He didn't wiggle and he didn't try to attack the keyboard.  He just sat on my lap playing with a couple of blocks and hung out.  Super sweet.

When it was time  to go to sleep, I asked Daniel to get me his favorite book (this was an experiment... I had no idea what he was going to do).  So, he went into his house and starting leafing through "Caps for Sale" (his father's favorite).  I scooped him and the book up and we sat on his chair and read the ENTIRE book!  People... the entire book (and not a picture book).  This was big.  Again, no squirming, no pauses, just the entire snuggly time of reading the book together. 

Two amazing acts of stillness! 

Unsuccessfully Playing Catch-Up

I asked my husband tonight if I was feeling sad because I’m so tired or because I am so overwhelmed with playing catch-up.  He didn’t know I was sad.  To be honest, I didn’t know either until 7:45pm when I started to think about all of the things I had to do, yet had no energy to do.  Guess that answers the question!

Daniel is 15 months old.  He’s walking, running, has a bunch of teeth (finally), is super tall (90^th percentile) so he looks like all of the 18 month old kids on the playground and he’s incredibly physically active. He’s hysterical.  Makes us laugh all of the time and he is still calling most animals “kitty” (in fact, we went to a farm today and he ran up to a sheep yelling “kitty”).  His hair grows so fast that he's on haircut #3.  I have amazing photos and videos from all the way back to our Cape Cod vacation with the Bahats in August, Jewish holidays in Atlanta (including a baby gorilla from the Atlanta Zoo which is insanely cute), visits in Philly and with his great grandparents AND one amazing essay from his cousin Lizzie.  Lots to post.
 
I’ve been traveling nearly every other week since the beginning of this year for work.  I can’t really say that it’s “starting” to take its toll as it’s a struggle each and every time.  But, something is different now and I feel like all of the time away from both Daniel and Matt has caught up with me.  Not only am I missing my boys all the time, but my every day to-dos get swept under the rug.
 
Living in a semi-gutted house is also starting to take its toll and I often start screaming while cooking begging for my kitchen to be done already!
 
Because of the half-gutted house, we don’t have a lot of space and have to use a storage unit.  I now have a massive pile in my room made up of things that need to go to storage.  Please someone set fire to this pile so I don’t have to look at it anymore! (that’s a joke just in case someone from the fire department is reading this)
 
I haven’t spoken to my dear friend, Heather, since she moved back home to Minneapolis and I miss her dearly
 
I missed my friend, Jennifer Geiger’s birthday (and probably a slew of others)
 
Oh yeah, I have a full time job that is more demanding than any job I could ever imagine.  Thankful as I am for the job… it’s still, once again, more demanding than I could have ever imagined.
 
I used to talk to my parents nearly every day.  I think I last spoke to them last week.   

This blog’s primary function is to chronicle Daniel’s life but as most of you know, I’ve barely been doing that over the last few months and putting all of the things that are overwhelming me down in writing is actually helping me realize that I’m actually not sad… I’m just fucking busy!  Pity party is OVER!

An Ode to Poop (the cat)!

Matt's (our) cat turned 16 years old today.  I'd like to dedicate this blog post to him.

Poop is one of the strangest, scariest and most beautiful cats I've ever known.  When I first started dating Matt I immediately tried to cuddle with Poop and get him to love me by loving him... mistake.  I quickly learned that Poop is not a "cuddly" cat and if he wants any sort of attention, he wants it from Matt.  Period.  I was warned that he was "homicidal" and quite a few friends of Matt's asked me if I wanted to hire a hit man to "take him out".  Yikes.

The bottom line is that Poop would much prefer to track down a small (or large) mammal, kill it and eat it in our living room than he would like to have a long pet on the couch. 

I spent a year or so slowly trying to earn Poop's trust (I was, after all, taking away his roommate and best friend).  I mean, this was a serious project.  Eventually Poop would sleep next to me and let me pet him or brush him (for about a minute at a time) but he would never come to me when I wanted him to and deep down I knew that the attention he was giving me was simply a product of his boredom with my saying his name over and over again.

Meanwhile, 5 years later, I love Poop and I know he loves me even though he still follows Matt around and leaves me in a split second when Matt walks in the room. 

We were a bit scared when we brought Daniel home because we didn't know how Poop would react (he left our friend's Pit Bull bleeding in a corner once) and there have been some moments when we've held our breath, but it's been pretty good. 

Nowadays, Poop pretty much ignores Daniel (that's a good thing) and Poop happens to be one of Daniel's most favorite playthings (umm, not always good).  In fact, Daniel now calls pretty much everything, "Kitty!" in a really high pitched, excited voice.  A bird in a tree?  "Kitty!".  A cute dog?  "Kitty!"  Certain kids in the playground? "Kitty!"  It's damn cute.  Check out this video (also great footage of our little walking monster):

So, Happy Birthday to our friend, Poop.  We love you and thank you for not killing any of us (yet).

New Skills: Walking When He Wants and Using a Fork

Faithful readers, I am way behind in posts.  My sincere apologies!

Now, you may think that walking is WAY more important than using a fork (agreed) but Daniel is still in walking denial so it's been hard to get a good video.  As soon as he realizes he's walking he stops and either cries or sits down and lifts his hand for our hand.  So, I'll work on the walking video... it's coming (slowly, but surely).  The important thing is that he's officially walking (even agreed to by my husband) and he looks like a little duckling waddling around.  Adorable.

Daniel is 14 months old and he is a budding toddler and I can't wait to do a proper update as soon as I have more than 45 minutes at night.  However, this is one video that just had to be posted:



As cute as it looks, Daniel's fork maneuvering also means that he pretty much refuses being spoon-fed which, quite frankly, can be a cute pain in the ass.  Alas, I'm proud of my little guy for picking up this new skill and think that whipping up a nice roux might be the next step!

A Worthy Message

We're in Atlanta for about 10 days celebrating the Jewish holidays.  Being home is always a treat for me and I cherish the extended visits where I get to pretend that I live here.

My family has always taken Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur seriously and I hope that Daniel can grow up to do the same.  I use the time in synagogue to reflect on the past year and focus on what I'd like to accomplish during the next.  I think about things I've done that could have been done better, ways I've acted that don't make me proud and things I've gotten upset about that I should have just let roll off my back.  It's peaceful and easy for me to sit in a sanctuary and listen to familiar songs, prayers and voices and I really am so thankful that I am able to spend this time where I grew up.

Matt and I took Daniel to the "Family Service" this year so that we could experience synagogue together.  I've always wondered what these services were like and we all absolutely loved it!  Not only was it a bit chaotic, which is a good thing considering the fact that Daniel can't sit still for more than 10 seconds these days, but it broke the meaning of Rosh Hashanah down into the basics:  be happy and healthy in the new year, love and respect each other and don't take life for granted. 

What a beautiful message.  Especially as I write this post on 9/11.

I decided to take a video while the Shofar was being sounded and while it's fun to watch Daniel in his grandfather's arms, I really like listening to what the Rabbi has to say.

I wish for a very sweet, very happy and very healthy New Year.  I wish for my son to continue to be full of love, spirit and curiosity and I wish for myself to be more patient and understanding.  I am blessed and I wish to never take that for granted.